no_rules_freedomfandomcom-20200214-history
REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2
Hello there, Mrs Chanandler Bong here and welcome to the second rendition of Revewing the Charts! REVEWING THE CHARTS It's the (moments) we relive / It's the moments like this Hey there. We haven't done one of these in a while and Jesus Christ, has the top 10 changed. I understand that I didn't review the top three songs, and to be honest with you, I had no idea what they were going for. They were very meh. Very bland. All kinda ehh. And yes, I will be doing this weekly from now on, don't worry, I won't go on a giant hiatus. There's another one coming up this week because then the charts update. Sorry if that intro seemed very disorganised but who cares? No-one ever bothers reading this. Let's get into the meat! What happened since last time? Shit loads. Moving on up *"Power" by Little Mix and Stormzy has gone up one space to 9. *"Feels" is the new number-one track! It moved up from 4 to become the most popular single of the United Kingdom right now, and I like the song so good work, Calvin... and Pharrell. And Big Sean. And Kat--you get it. *"Unforgettable" by French Montana and 1/2 of Rae Sremmurd has moved up one space to 2, switching places with... Gettin' on down *"Wild Thoughts" by DJ Khaled featuring Rihanna and Bryson Tiller, who has the best pick-up lines I've ever heard. Fuck you 'til you're burned out, cremation That's... that's a lyric. *Also going down three spaces and replacing "Feels" is the remix of "Despacito" by two Latin dudes with attitude featuring everyone's favourite douchebag, J-Biebs, which was number one for a while. It had a good run. *"Mama" by Jonas Blue-dabba-dee-dabba-di and William Singe has gone down to 7. *"Came Here for Love" by Sigala and Ella Eyre has gone down to 8. The chopping block *"Pretty Girl (Forgettable EDM Producers Remix)" by Maggie Simpson was chopped extremely viciously by 11, down to the 20 spot. *"Your Song" by Rita Oral Se--no, that's bad. That's terrible. Anyways, it's been chopped only by 3, staying out of the top 10 barely at 11. *"Strip that Down" by 1/5 of One Direction and self-proclaimed Rata-too-lee has been chopped waaaay down from 7 to 22, just barely hanging by a thread on the charts similarly to Maggie here, after being chopped by 15. Jesus Christ, Liam, come on. You're better than this! You aren't, Quavo. You can go fu-- New Arrivals I'm not gonna go one-by-one like I usually would. Instead I wrote a song which describe the new arrivals perfectly. Bland, bland, bland, stuff I didn't know existed Bland, bland, bland, to be honest, wish I didn't Because it feels like a waste of my time and life James Arthur, has teamed up with Rudimental To make a, tropical house song generic At least the, genre was slightly different 'Fore it got completely oversaturated That's at 6, but at 5 we have got the New single, New Rules by Dua Lipa It's kinda, annoying to listen to Because she's wasting her potential and talent It's just: Bland, bland, bland, stuff I didn't know existed Bland, bland, bland, gets more boring every listen Because it feels like a waste of my time and life And... Because of Despacito, Enrique Iglesias Is gettin' so many YouTube views, it's outrageous 655 million in less than six months But I've never even heard it 'til I made this song For the record, it's Spanish, I can't understand it But the music is decent so I guess I'll can it If you are wondering what the song's name is "Subeme la Radio" feat. Sean Paul and Matt Terry But the YouTube video's title seems to disagree with me And the BBC Descemer Bueno, Zion, and Lennox Oh for God's sake, it's another fucking remix People gettin' money off of dropping pop stars on good tracks Mostly ruining it, the interesting foreign diversity is lost Wouldn't be surprised as Despacito fades off That this song goes on the list to be chopped Matt Terry can sing, Sean Paul cannot I'm wasting too much time in this rap verse about a song Featuring an ''X Factor ''winner and a talentless dude who specialises in dancehall Oops, did I just accidentally slip off the beat? The music I'm reviewing isn't any better, you see? Cos it's Bland, bland, bland, stuff I didn't know existed (damn!) Bland, bland, bland, to be honest, wish I didn't (wham!) Because it feels like a waste of my time and life Bland, bland, bland, stuff I didn't know existed (pop!) Bland, bland, bland, why's pop music so generic? (top!) Because it feels like a waste of my time and life Bland, bland, bland, stuff I didn't know existed Bland, bland, bland, why am I reviewing this shit? '' ''Because it feels like a waste of my time and life... Thank you. mic Category:Mrs Chanandler Bong Category:Music Category:2017 Category:Songs Category:Reviewing the Charts